it stuck me all of a sudden.
after what pat said.
maybe i used to think that pat is just being over-paranoid.
but not now anymore.
i guess i am just being a coward.
trying to run away form reality.
we will die someday won't we?
just that some leave early and some leave later.
there is nothing that will be there forever.
everything's uncertain.
when, where will we die, who knows?
life's short, isn't it?
what if your loved one leave before you?
i am afraid of loneliness.
i am afraid of darkness.
who will be there for me when they leave?
who will still be able to protect me like they used to?
we are moving closer to death each day, aren't we?
i don't want to be alone.
why is life so cruel?
betrayal,taking away loved ones, etc...
i guess it's just fated.
and since we will be dying someday,
why do we still keep holding on to some things,
refusing to let go ?

anyway,time passed so quickly.
so quickly that i did not even realise.
i really regret it.
i regret throwing away all my diaries.
i tore out the pages and shredded them.
beacuse i don't want anyone to find out
where i've been keeping my diaries.
i also don't want them to read about them.
but now i regret throwing them away.
maybe it's a good thing too.
they hold too much sad memories.
i will try to forget about them.
but still, it takes time.

=thanks pat=
onestepcloserscribbled@9:55 PM